The World I Know
by Cosmic Castaway
Summary: Bosco's thoughts....spoilers for He SaidShe Said and Childhood Memories


Title: The World I Know  
Spoilers: Eppy He Said/She Said (Nov.26, 2001) and Childhood Memories (Dec. 04, 2001)  
Summary: Bosco's thoughts on the whole rape thing.  
Author's Note: Ummmm Hi..nothin to say but hey hope yah enjoy the tiny short thought story ;)  
Disclaimer: NBC and Third Watch is not owned by me, not making a single penny on this, I'm just taking the characters and twisting them into my own evil ways, (insert evil laughter) P.S. Don't own the Collect Soul "The World I Know.." that song is there's and not mine, I just simply thought it fit :) into the story, okay onto short fic.  
  
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"Has our conscience shown?  
Has the sweet breeze blown?  
Has all the kindness gone?  
Hope still lingers on.  
I drink myself of newfound pity.  
Sitting alone in New York City.  
And I don't know why."  
  
Denial. So what is so wrong with denying something? I'll tell you what is wrong with it, it's first of all mentally unhealthy....hah can you believe that I actually know something like that. Also denying something, you act as though it never happened, and well that can't be good.   
  
If I act as though it never happened then maybe I can get on with my life. But images keep running through my mind. Flashes of me, the girl, and that lying son of a bitch.   
  
I can't stop the picture that is playing like a bad romance chick flick, with no stop button and no mute to control the sound of the voices , the voices of them and....my own.   
  
Want to throw up but can't, nothing in my stomach. Want to run away but nowhere to run to. Want to hide, but you just can't hide from the truth.  
I feel physically and mentally ill. I keep running that through that I could of stopped something....something that I actually could have controlled and prevented yet; I didn't.   
  
When I came to the scene, my mind was made up and what I saw is what I believed and I wasn't going to let my gut or someone else tell me I was wrong.   
I ran. I ran home hoping I would find my answers. Found some of the answer and misery in a bottle, but hey, it helped a little, the pain I was feeling in my heart was becoming drowned in the sweet liquid.   
  
"Are we listening  
To hymns of offering?   
Have we eyes to see  
That love is gathering?  
All the words that I've been reading  
Have now started the act of bleeding  
Into one."  
  
It did help to be home for a short period of time. I didn't like it bringing up the past that I had tried so hard fighting, fighting to keep it from people that I knew and had no idea about my troubles....I was even trying to fight to keep it out of my own mind.   
  
I can't change. I can't change even if I wanted too. This was the only way I knew how to be, and it's the only way I know to be in a world like this. I world where men beat up on defenseless women. A world where cops don't help people when they're standing 2feet in front of them. NO, I won't think like; that I have refused to. It wasn't my fault....oh denial is so wonderful sometimes.   
  
Denial can hide the present and the past in the vast darkness of the mind. Denial is my friend and always will be.   
  
"So I walk up on high  
And I step to the edge  
To see my world below.  
And I laugh at myself  
As the tears roll down.  
'Cause it's the world I know.  
It's the world I know."   
  
The End  
  
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Author Note: I thought this was the best place to put this. I'm currently working on a Third Watch story, not going to be a short one. These are just to show I'm still around and watching Third Watch. This is a story with a twist, but it's going to be kinda of bad language, which I hope none of yeah mind..thing I'm asking is if anybody would be willing to be a beta reader for me,..e-mail is Scaper_Gurl@hotmail.com. Thanks a bundle for the nice reviews I got on "Without my consent" I was evil on thinking that story up, but thank you so much, means a ton to me and there is just no way I can repay so THANK YOU. Also Brat,,..I do want to finish the story, and I think I may take your advice and wait until everything settles down, cause I would like to finish it someday..okay..enough talking THANKS AGAIN, later  
  
~Cosmic Castaway~ 


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